The holidays draw loved ones near, whether in moments of joy or in feelings of longing. If you’re living with the loss of someone dear, this season can feel especially difficult. Whether your grief is recent or something you’ve carried for years, it may rise again through familiar music, traditions, or quiet moments.
If this time feels complicated, you’re not alone. Grief is a reflection of a loving connection you shared. Consider the following four coping mechanisms this holiday season:
1) Expect grief to come in waves, and plan for them
Many people experience sudden “grief bursts” during the holidays — an unexpected swell of sadness or longing triggered by a smell, a song, or an empty place at the table. These waves are normal; they’re part of how the brain adapts to a changed world. Planning ahead can help manage these moments.
Before a gathering or special day, think about situations that might trigger you, and choose a simple response: step outside for fresh air, keep a small photo or keepsake nearby, or arrange a brief check-in call with someone you trust.
Knowing you have a plan can make the moment less overwhelming, reminding your body you’re safe.
2) Tap into rituals to help alleviate grief
Traditions are meant to hold meaning, not pressure. A study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology showed rituals are important in managing grief.
Think about which rituals are helpful to you, and which aren’t, then allow yourself flexibility in how you practise them.
You might keep one tradition that comforts you, such as baking a favourite recipe, and revise one that doesn’t. Sharing your intentions with family ahead of time can help prevent misunderstandings.
3) Start a “continuing-bond ritual” that keeps loved ones present
Some people find healing by maintaining a healthy inner connection to the person who died. A “continuing-bond ritual” can be simple: light a candle before dinner, cook their signature dish, write them a holiday card, visit a meaningful place, or tell a story about them to someone younger.
These small acts don’t erase loss, but they shift the focus from “what’s missing” to “what still matters.” Love remains part of your life, and remembrance can be a quiet form of comfort.
4) Reduce loneliness by planning time to connect with others
Studies consistently show supportive social contact protects against prolonged grief, especially for older adults during the winter season. The key is to plan connection before you need it.
Plan a short phone call, tea with a neighbour, a game of cards, or a more structured activity such as a community luncheon, a faith gathering, or a book club meeting.
Planned events help, because you don’t rely on feeling “ready” in the moment. Even brief contact with friends and family can soften isolation and help you feel the sense of connection we all need.
The holidays can be painful after loss, but they can also bring moments of quiet meaning in new ways. Some days may feel heavy, others gentler; both are part of this season. If everyday life has become too hard to manage, reach out to your doctor or a grief counsellor for support.
At Amica Senior Lifestyles, our team members get to know each resident so they can meet their individual needs. Our 34 beautifully designed seniors’ residences offer connection, engaging life-enrichment activities, and discerning care. Together, we create meaningful moments that spark joy during the holiday season and beyond. Visit our Amica Difference webpage to learn more.